mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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