in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
