so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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