bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
