Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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