im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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