i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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