she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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