Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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