hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My first STD was from a foam party
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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