Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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