wat bout pragnant strippers??
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
