wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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