Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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