Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
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