Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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