im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it's like heaven, but drunker
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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