jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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