It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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