I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
