I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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