I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
