there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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