let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
this boner is exhausting
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
