I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
