I just threw up on my dentist
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dicks are not precious.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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