He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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