Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
