Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
