We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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