It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
