i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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