oh god the rape fog is back!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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