She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
