ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
