Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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