"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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