he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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