at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
