This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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