my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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