I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
