I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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