I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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