I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
