I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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