my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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