He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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