This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
