Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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