some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
