bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
