look no pants
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
