he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
