How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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