Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
