just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
