I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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