his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
