The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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