Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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