I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
