oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize