white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
